The seed for my ruminations this morning, as much as an exercise in waking my brain as any cod philosophical thoughts, stems from a long chat and a short phone call. The short phone call was from one of my worshipping parishioners to inform me of the death of one of my non-worshipping ones. However, even that statement is open to discussion as the non-worshipper was known as part of the wider social family of the church, and I can't be sure I'd never seen her within the walls, but if so, only an incredibly irregular basis. Incidentally I than found out where she lived, which is an enormous property that has intrigued me since my arrival.
It occurred to me that I didn't know her faith status, that I didn't know what she believed, although if you asked her she would have probably said something like "of course I'm a Christian."
I find it a little worrying. Surely as the parish priest I should be concerned about the faith, or lack of it, of all my parishioners? And of course I am, but all at a rather remote and impersonal level. I cannot claim to display, as some would put it, a "passion for the lost". Which begs the question of how seriously I take my charge and my calling, and the whole raft of issues about what "lost" is anyway. I'll leave that open, simply because if I do go that way I'll be here for at least another hour and come out with no clear answer either, other that I am human and fallible and need to rely upon the power, providence and grace of Almighty God. All I'll note in passing is the reference of that previous sentence, an appeal to Almighty God, and make explicit that I believe in the standards revealed by inspired scripture, incarnation and present inspiration as mediated by the Holy Spirit.
From an individual I barely knew, to another about whom I know much, and from their own lips, one of "my" students. There is no denying that K is in a mess. Mentally, physically and emotionally, with a self-image that is completely out of kilter, seeing threat in every unfamiliar situation and ready to take offence, or worry that offence has been caused in virtually every situation. And that's without the accompanying self-harm by inaction, and depression. Speaking to K yesterday I got the impression that most, if not all the problems, go back to self-image. If the baseline for the image of self and reactions of others is wrong, then all else that follows is wrong too. I hesitate to use the word paranoia, as I am not a psychiatrist, but it certainly fits in at least the popular usage of the word.
To draw the two together, if my parishioner has harboured the impression and personal assessment that all is well in their relationship with God, they must face the consequence of the judgement, and, I hope, the mercy of God. As must I, and every living human. Likewise K assesses their position in the world by reference to all fellow students and asks "why do I bother?" and "why do they hate me?" (but not, notice, "do they actually hate me?") To me this continues to reinforce the need for a set of absolutes by which we may judge ourselves, and so obtain some indication about that which is right and wrong with our lives.
For myself, I appeal to the standards of the Christian faith (all the while acknowledging that varying interpretations exist, yet remain within a coherent package) - revealed by inspired scripture, incarnation and present inspiration as mediated by the Holy Spirit.
Advent, like Lent, is meant to be a season for self-examination in the light of God and the expectations of both the first, and second, coming of Jesus Christ. So this is part of my contribution.
And with my brain working, after a fashion, I need to get to work!
