Pleasantly shocking news broke this week as the Chaplaincy of Poppleton New University unveiled plans to buy and convert existing facilities, including the Sports Bar, Dance Studio and Great Hall on campus until "plans for the new custom-build Crystal Chaplaincy facility are completed".
Speaking on behalf of the Multi-Faith Chaplaincy Team, whose EuroMillions-winning syndicate last week netted them a cool £85M, Rev Dr Alcine said, "Well, given the current needs of the Chaplaincy and the encouragements of the Directorate to find bold and innovative funding streams we thought that £1 a week from the collections was a small price to pay for the chance of being freed from University-funding committees." Asked what the team most looked forward to in the years ahead their response was unanimous - the staff sauna meeting suite.
When questioned as to whether Dr Freeman-Guise, Lecturer in Gambling Theory at the New Poppleton Business School, would shortly be joining the Team, this reporter received a very pleasant smile and a new car.
ERRATA: We have been asked to clarify the title of Dr Freeman-Guise's post. He is not "Lecturer in Gambling Theory", as initially stated, but rather has been "Lecturer in Practical Stock Market Manipulation" since 2008. We apologise for any confusion caused.
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